Dwight: Last week I gave a fire safety talk. [clears throat] And nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. Today, smoking is gonna save lives.
Dwight: Does anyone smell anything smoky?
Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again?
Dwight: [clears throat]
Pam: Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!
Andy: Whoa, fire!
Dwight: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Pam: The phones are dead.
Dwight: Oh, how did that happen?
Kevin: It's out in the hall.
Dwight: No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.
Michael: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm. Everyone stay calm! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!
Dwight: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?
Michael: Stay [bleep] calm!
Dwight: Wait, wait, wait.
Michael: Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!
Dwight: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Michael: What does warm mean?
Everyone: Oh my God.
Dwight: Not a viable option.
Pam: Try a different door.
Dwight: Okay, what's next?
Michael: Don't run.
Dwight: Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?
Andy: It-- it's warm.
Dwight: Well, uh, another option.
Jim: Back door.
Dwight: Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!
Phyllis: Oh! I forgot my purse.
Stanley: Leave it woman!
Michael: Get out of the way! Go, go, go!
Dwight: Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...
Oscar: Ah! My hand! That's hot!
Andy: Aah! This ones hot too!
Michael: Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.
Dwight: Okay, let's go.
Everyone: Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!
Dwight: Calm, please
Andy: Get out of the way!
Dwight: Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Andy: Move it!
Dwight: Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha-- Use a what to cover the mouth?
Angela: It's okay. Shh shhh.
Dwight: A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.
Dwight: What's next?
Oscar: Stay alive! I'm getting help!
Angela: Pull me up!
Oscar: You're too heavy!
Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh-- save Bandit! Oh!
Dwight: How about 911? Anyone? 911.
Pam: What do we do?
Dwight: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.
Jim: Okay, I am not dying here. Come on.
Angela: What is that? What is that?
Andy: The fire's shooting at us!
Phyllis: What in the name of God is going on?!
Andy: Yes! Yes, ba-- Yes, battering ram! Battering ram!
Phyllis and Creed: Ahhhh!!!
Andy: Go, go, go, go, go!!
Michael: Help!! Help!!
Stanley: I'm about to die!
Dwight: Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.
Dwight: Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned?
Dwight: So, what have we learned? Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael: No,no, no, you will not die, Stanley! Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black Stanley!
Jim: No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!
Michael: He's going to swallow is tongue.
Jim: No. Michael. Michael.
Michael: Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.
Jim: Michael! Michael!
Michael: Leave me al--
Andy: You're choking him!
Michael: Saving him!
Caps : jamhalpert
Quotes : The Office Quotes
Clip : nbc.com
Current Mood: accomplished
Current Music: we didn't start the fire - billy joel