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17 August 2009 @ 01:38 am
. we didn't start the fire .  

Dwight: Last week I gave a fire safety talk. [clears throat] And nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in a lot of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. Today, smoking is gonna save lives.

Dwight: Does anyone smell anything smoky?
Angela: Did you bring your jerky in again?
Dwight: [clears throat]

Pam: Oh, my God! Uh, Oh my God!
Phyllis: What--
Andy: Whoa, fire!

Dwight: Oh, fire! Oh my goodness! What's the procedure? What do we do, people?
Pam: The phones are dead.
Dwight: Oh, how did that happen?
Kevin: It's out in the hall.
Dwight: No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct.
Michael: Oh my God! Okay, it happening. Everybody stay calm. Everyone stay calm! EVERYBODY STAY CALM!

Dwight: What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure?
Michael: Stay [bleep] calm!
Dwight: Wait, wait, wait.
Michael: Everyone, now [bleep] calm down!
Dwight: No! No, Michael! No! Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway.
Michael: What does warm mean?
Everyone: Oh my God.
Dwight: Not a viable option.
Pam: Try a different door.
Dwight: Okay, what's next?
Michael: Don't run.
Dwight: Oh! Here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle?
Andy: It-- it's warm.

Dwight: Well, uh, another option.
Jim: Back door.
Dwight: Back to our options. Jeez! Ok! settle down everyone. No bunching!
Phyllis: Oh! I forgot my purse.
Stanley: Leave it woman!
Michael: Get out of the way! Go, go, go!

Dwight: Things can be replaced, Phyllis! People, human lives, however, can...
Oscar: Ah! My hand! That's hot!
Andy: Aah! This ones hot too!

Michael: Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself.
Dwight: Okay, let's go.
Everyone: Out of my way! Let's go. Get out of my way!
Dwight: Calm, please
Andy: Get out of the way!
Dwight: Have you ever seen a burn victim?
Andy: Move it!
Dwight: Okay! Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go folks? Wha-- Use a what to cover the mouth?

Angela: It's okay. Shh shhh.
Dwight: A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay, that's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points people.

Angela: Oscar.
Dwight: What's next?
Angela: Oscar!
Oscar: Stay alive! I'm getting help!
Angela: Pull me up!
Oscar: You're too heavy!
Angela: I only weigh 82 pounds! Uh-- save Bandit! Oh!

Dwight: How about 911? Anyone? 911.

Pam: What do we do?
Dwight: Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making.
Jim: Okay, I am not dying here. Come on.

Angela: What is that? What is that?
Andy: The fire's shooting at us!
Phyllis: What in the name of God is going on?!

Andy: Yes! Yes, ba-- Yes, battering ram! Battering ram!
Phyllis and Creed: Ahhhh!!!
Andy: Go, go, go, go, go!!
Michael: Help!! Help!!

Stanley: I'm about to die!

Dwight: Attention everyone! Employees of Dunder Mifflin! This has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a simulation.

Jim: What?!
Dwight: Fire not real. This was merely a training exercise. [Oscar drops down from the ceiling] So, what have we learned?

Dwight: So, what have we learned? Oh come on. It's not real Stanley. Don't have a heart attack.
Michael: No,no, no, you will not die, Stanley! Stanley you will not die! Stanley! Stanley! Barack is president! You are black Stanley!

Jim: No, no, no! Don't give him mouth to mouth for this!
Michael: He's going to swallow is tongue.
Jim: No. Michael. Michael.
Michael: Open your mouth. Come on. Don't swallow it.
Jim: Michael! Michael!
Michael: Leave me al--
Andy: You're choking him!
Michael: Saving him!


Caps : jamhalpert
Quotes : The Office Quotes
Clip : nbc.com
Current Mood: accomplishedaccomplished
Current Music: we didn't start the fire - billy joel
.zaynabunclear_sky on August 17th, 2009 06:36 am (UTC)
JENSEN PADALECKI.websofseaweed on August 17th, 2009 07:10 am (UTC)
The first time I watched this I came the closest I have ever come in my life to peeing my pants from laughter. omg. So funny.
(Deleted comment)
omnomnom17: (to) my eyes are shooting sparksomnomnom17 on August 17th, 2009 09:50 am (UTC)
This is seriously the best scene ever. The end.
probably an entertainer third: tv: oc | you're my little snow angelidontcaretocare on August 17th, 2009 10:38 am (UTC)

oh god that episode never fails to crack me up, from angela throwing the cat to dwight cutting off the dummy's face lol.

Barack is president! You are black Stanley!
that line gets me everytime lol i love michael so much.

great picspam! ty for reminding me of how hilarious that episode was ♥
miss clairey.: to | smells like chicken soup.keepon_dreaming on August 17th, 2009 01:32 pm (UTC)
this is AMAZING. <3
one of them: OFFICE // do it michaelburnutica on August 17th, 2009 02:35 pm (UTC)
i am an untitled poem ❖: (sa) watch my steady lonesome gaitfioriture on August 17th, 2009 02:44 pm (UTC)
Filliam H. Muffmanvikingsmn on August 17th, 2009 03:03 pm (UTC)
Great picspam. This opening scene was one of the best ALL TIME.
Tanya: office - all the workerscosmicfish on August 17th, 2009 04:13 pm (UTC)
Michael throwing the projector has to be my favourite part.
I wouldn't stop for red lights.no_redlights on August 17th, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
This is the best cold open ever. I remember I was laughing so hard I was crying when Angela throws the cat into the roof.. so hilarious. great job!
Sabrina: Pamiknowitsmad on August 17th, 2009 06:13 pm (UTC)
Best cold opening ever!
ANETE: to; pam (halloween)blueberry_b on August 17th, 2009 06:27 pm (UTC)
awesome scene, awesome picspam. :)
janelleinthesky: The Officejanelleinthesky on August 17th, 2009 07:02 pm (UTC)
Best episode - awesome picspam (:
|driveintoalake on August 17th, 2009 08:21 pm (UTC)

Lolololol. I love this cold open.
brown eyed girl: friends ; i'll be thereapafuego on August 17th, 2009 09:38 pm (UTC)
wake_up_88: Alex ulysses 2wake_up_88 on August 18th, 2009 12:58 am (UTC)
I love the picspam!
Great job!
SpunkyAR: The Officespunkyar on August 18th, 2009 11:54 pm (UTC)
Hahahaha...this scene was the best!! :)
gusty_cullen: pamcalledpanicgusty_cullen on August 20th, 2009 09:19 am (UTC)
this is the best episode ever.
i love the part where kevin breaks the candy machine xD
great picspam!!!
drivingrl on August 20th, 2009 01:17 pm (UTC)
LOL! Poor bandit. That cat was just minding its own business and it got tossed through the ceiling.